


Nights like these || Dreamnotfound

by Tubb00x



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: BBH, Based off a song, DNF, Darryl - Freeform, ED dream, George - Freeform, Im the alpha male, M/M, Minecraft, Nights like these - Pigeon pits, Please im not mentally stable, RPF, Self damage, Unhealthy - Freeform, YouTube, Zak - Freeform, dream - Freeform, dreamnotfound, karl - Freeform, lol, mcyt - Freeform, minecraft youtube - Freeform, mlm, sapnap - Freeform, selfharm, skeppy - Freeform, uh, what else do i add
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tubb00x/pseuds/Tubb00x
Summary: Dream always seemed so bubbly and happy, No one has ever seen him different. Well except himself, No one thinks about the many sacrifices he has to make to be happy. He was perfectly content with his online persona until one day. George and sapnap surprise him with a few others including themselves were coming to meet him.--This book is based off the song Nights like these by pigeon pits
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 108





	1. Prologue - Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Warning - This book contains a Graphic depiction of SH and contains Mentions of smoking, Depression, And general self-destructive behaviors. You have been warned

I had woken up to a similar bright light shining into my eye, I must have forgotten to turn my lamp off. I groaned into my pillow sitting up slightly. I peered over the dirty mess of my room, which I hadn’t cleaned in quite a long time. It was mostly cups and clothes with the few odd items laying under and across the empty space. I stretched my arms up before rubbing my eyes in a desperate attempt to wake myself up.

I stumbled over the lumps of clothes to my door, I decided it would be best to get some water to really wake myself up. It has been quite hot lately. I slumped down the stairs proceeding to the kitchen. I grabbed one of my many cups and dumped some ice into the cup. I really needed to do laundry later. I filled the glass with freshly filtered water and chugged it. I set the cup down trying to catch my breath. 

My eyes darted to the box of smokes I had left on the counter the previous night. I walked over grabbing the small box as long as my very overused lighter treading my way to my balcony. I knew that George and Sapnap were planning on recording today. Knowing the two they were bound to drag me along as well. I let out a sigh as I lit up the cig. The first inhale is always the best. Everything around you seems to just calm down as you let it out. 

The birds were awfully loud this morning. It was quite hard to not get distracted, Their songs mixed so well with the heaving breeze. It would have been so much more pleasant if the so-called breeze wasn't so warm. I sighed continuing just watching the cars drive by the small street that my house had been plastered onto. After a while, I decided it would be best to see what the others were up to. I Put the cig out leaving it in the small dish placed on the railing. I opened my door letting out a sigh, I really needed to clean soon. I walked over to the black leather chair sitting in front of my PC.

I clicked on discord to see Nick and George already in a call. My eyes peered over to the small clock in the corner of my screen, It read 12:32. I hovered my mouse over the join button as I pulled my headphones on. I joined and instantly heard a scream. I guess they had already started a world. I let out a chuckle before I heard both Nick and George welcome me. I responded with a simple hello before they went back to whatever they had been doing.  
I loaded up Minecraft listening to George and Nick chat. I let out a sigh looking out of my window. There were barely any clouds in sight, The sun was beaming down across the state. I watched as birds flew in and out of tree branches humming to myself. I had forgotten that George was streaming. I snapped back into thought realizing no one was talking anymore. ‘Shit’ I internally screamed at myself. I just knew that was gonna be clipped. I stopped just staring at the home screen waiting for someone to break the silence. Eventually, Nick started going off about some random nonsense, I Looked to see them both on the SMP. Strange, Usually whenever they stream it’s speedrunning.

I log onto the world, I heard George try his best to quietly panic. They had obviously been doing something. My eyebrows raise as I walk over to the base I had made. Just before I went in I spotted 2 nametags. I let out a sigh followed by a small chuckle. I ponder on the thought of what they could be doing. I shrug it off making my way into the hidden base. I notice that both Sapnap and Georges Nametags disappeared, Must have shifted when they noticed I was coming in. I walk in to see a lectern in the middle of the room. 

“What is this?” I ask trying to conceal a laugh. Nick and George respond with a laugh before nick manages to say “Just read the book”. I rub my temple before opening the lectern.  
“Dream, We’ve been friends for a long time yet we still have barely done anything together. I know you have been feeling off so Sapnap and I prepared a surprise for you!”

I read the first page confused about what they meant. I pondered on the thought of what they could be up to before flipping to the next page.

“Sooo, We booked plane tickets to Florida :D”

I stared at the page in shock. They were coming to Florida, What.

I noticed there still being another page.

“ We thought that it would help, we also invited Skeppy, Bad and Karl.”

I didn’t know what to think. I was so happy we were finally meeting but my house was a mess and to be completely honest I was a mess. I just stared at the page as millions of thoughts rushed through my head. What if they thought I was disgusting, What if they left me as soon as they saw me, What if they thought I was ugly, What if they hate me.

“ Sooo Dream what do you think “ I heard George hum. I let out a sigh, It would be best to continue to lie. “ I mean I’m extremely happy about meeting everyone, but, not so excited about cleaning my mess of a house,” I commented chuckling. I mean, for the most part, it was true. I just left out a few details. 

Both of the two celebrated seeing I didn’t make them cancel the tickets. “ I’ll be right back” I commented before muting myself. I stood up grabbing my hair. I walked over to my equally dirty bathroom staring myself in the mirror. I looked disgusting. My eyes had massive dark circles surrounding them and I just looked, hollow. ‘God damnit’ I muttered before leaving the washroom.  
I walked back over to my computer deciding to just leave the call. I texted in our GC to get the details. George quickly replied saying they’d be there around my birthday which was in a week. I silently cursed to myself standing up. Might as well try and clean.


	2. Chapter 1 - Cleaning fest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mans cleans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like how this chapter turned out but I cant tell why,, I would love some feedback on it though :)

I stretch my back before leaving my room. I needed to get the supplies. I opened the hallway closet and looked inside. I grabbed a few garbage bags and wipes before closing the door. I decide to put some music on seeing it would be boring not to. George recently sent me a song named “Nights like these” And I hadn't listened to it yet.

I pull the song up on Spotify and connect my phone to my speaker. I press play and grab the garbage bag. I look around my room to see where to start.

‘Strawberry stained fingertips, Chain smoking, Binge-watching Netflix’

I walk over to my desk starting to grab some of the trash surrounding the surface of the dark wood. I picked up the cigarette butts surrounding my window from when I was too tired to go to my balcony. I looked back at my desk wondering how I’m going to carry down the stacks of cups. 

‘Bike grease in my hair, Blood on your jeans’

I grab a few stacks of cups holding them in my arm. Carefully, I walk down to my kitchen dumping them into my sink. I let out a sigh realizing how long this is going to take me.

Walking back to my room I start grabbing piles of clothes putting them into a basket. Might as well start the laundry now so I don't have to wait once I’m done cleaning. I put the first load into the washer realizing I desperately needed more detergent. Once I started the cycle I remembered the fact I hadn't gone to the store in a few weeks. I push the thought out making my way back to my room. It looked a bit cleaner already seeing about half of the clothes that were scattered across my room were gone.

‘Blisters on your feet a grin full of teeth’

My back already aches, This is gonna be a long day. I groan before grabbing the sheets off of my bed. They were the only thing I cleaned often. I mean my bed is where I spend most of my time might as well make it a nice experience.

I made my bed fluffing up my pillows in the process. Peering around my room I realized how much more garbage I needed to pick up. I let out a small huff and grabbed the garbage bag I had already started filling. I start around my bed picking up the tissues and empty water bottles. This place was a lot dirtier than I thought.

‘The California drought, The smell after the thunderstorm that knocked the power out’

I begin to ponder more about the fact I'm going to be meeting my 2 best friends in a week. I don't even know where they can sleep, I have a guest room but I don't think they’ll wanna sleep in the same bed. Not to mention Bad, Skeppy and Karl are coming as well. I groaned, rubbing my temples realizing the garbage bag was full.

I tie the top setting it down in the corner walking over to grab the other one I had brought. I look over my room again, finally being able to see the floor for the first time in at least a month. A smile crept on my face.

‘Sweat soaks up my handlebars, Wanting to die with all my scars’

Finishing getting all the garbage off my floor I felt accomplished. I still needed to vacuum but it's an upgrade from the shit whole I had started with. I started clearing off my side table when I found something that wiped my smile away.

‘If they don’t like the way we are, Then fuck them.’

A small metal blade that had rust formed all over it. Thoughts rush back to me which of ones I thought had been repressed far enough. I quickly grab it and shove it in the garbage bag. I feel a shiver fall down my back as I continue cleaning off the side table.

‘I stayed up chain-smoking in the kitchen until you got home, And the curtains were on fire, Fuck’

I back away taking another look over my room. I felt oddly proud. I walk over to my desk where I set the wipes down opening them. I start wiping down pretty much everything. 

‘I'm sorry you feel all alone, With the tv blasting shadows on my face.’

I hear my phone buzz, My head perks up looking over at the notification. It was from George. My stomach feels weird as I walk over to my phone. I have just learned to ignore it thinking it was just nothing.

‘Hitching back to my apartment, It was such a lonely place.’

“I got the date wrong were coming tomorrow oops”

I stare at the text in disbelief, Well shit. I put my phone down quickly leaving my room and grabbing the vacuum. I still needed to clean my bathroom and do the dishes. 

‘I place my head between my knees and think’

I finished vacuuming and heard the washer stop. I speed walked over to my laundry room changing out the clothes and putting the second load in while the first one dried. I went back to my room grabbing the rest of the dishes and going downstairs. I started putting the dishes in the dishwasher. It was mostly just cups so it didn’t take long. I click the start button before going back upstairs to start on my bathroom. 

‘Do you ever have nights like these?’

It wasn’t even nearly as dirty as my room was so it didn't take me long. I wiped down the counter putting everything back in place. I hang the towels back up and corrected the shower mats. Realizing the sink was pretty much clogged I went back to the closet looking to see if I had any drain cleaner. Luckily I did, I quickly grabbed the bottle making my way back to the washroom.

‘So separated from my sense of self and the shit you keep on your bookshelf’

I smile to myself looking around seeing my newly clean room. I quickly remembered that I should probably make sure the guest room Is clean as entirely. I peek inside seeing that it still looked brand new. Closing the door I walked downstairs and tidied up the living room and kitchen a bit.

‘So I take another sip. I keep falling off and eating shit and forgetting to unclip.’

I had forgotten how nice it was to have a clean area. I walk back up to my room before I end up messing anything up. I open my window to get some airflow. My eyes fall down to the box of smokes places neatly beside my lighter. I grab one out lighting it up before looking out the window blowing the smoke out. 

‘the sun will rise another time, for now, it’s me and you, our bikes: we trip and stumble, laughing, to the park’

The sun had already begun to set. I walk over picking up my phone looking at what time it was. 19:02, I looked back out the window letting out another blow of smoke followed by a smile.

‘ the flea bites laid out on my wrist the heart-shaped blister on my palm the handlebars had etched my body is out on my back porch my brain is fucking somewhere else.’

Around 20 minutes later I hear both the drier and washer go off. I put the cig out before getting up and changing the loads. I grab the freshly dried basket of clothes and walk back to my room.

‘on the roof with the flags we torched .’

I start hanging up the clothes and putting them away in my closet. It finally looked somewhat full. I stored the basket under the bottom rack of the small closet walking out closing the door. I glace over to my computer deciding I might as well play some Minecraft while I wait for the drier to finish.

‘and I stayed up, chain-smoking in the kitchen until you got home and the curtains were on fire. fuck, I’m sorry you feel all alone’

I look to see who’s online on the SMP. I see Tommy and Tubbo on. I click to join waiting for the server to load. I’m still in my base where I left earlier today.  
‘with the tv blasting shadows on my face — hitching back to the apartment — it was such a lonely place’

Neither of the children greets me so I assume they’re just doing their own thing and not streaming. I leave my base deciding to just walk around for a bit.

‘i place my head between my knees and think:  
“ do you ever have nights like these ? “‘

I soon enough hear the drier go off. I close down my computer and go retrieve the laundry. I proceed to hang it up with the rest. I feel satisfied seeing my closet full once again. 

‘so separated from my sense of self and the shit you keep up on your bookshelf ‘

All of the cleaning has honestly tired me out. I Lay down on my bed instantly feeling tired. I let out a yawn before plugging my phone in and setting an alarm. I had to be up early to go over to the airport. I turn my lamp off getting under my blanket and quickly falling into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 2 - The meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me a while to get out so sorry about that, Im writing this as I'm waiting for my hair to finish bleaching so enjoy the chapter love yall :D

I awoke at the crack of dawn by the obnoxious ringing projecting from my phone. I let out a groan before ducking my head under my covers desperately wishing this was a dream. Eventually when the alarm didn't stop I emerged from the warmth of the duvet. I looked at my phone instantly getting blinded. Once I could see again I saw it was 5 am.

“Jesus” I mumbled before getting out of bed walking over to my washroom. I hooked my phone up to my speaker and put on my playlist starting the shower. I didn't want to show up all sweaty and disgusting. I stepped into the scalding hot water letting it run down my face. I Quickly washed myself stepping out of the shower. I didn’t have that much time to spare seeing their  
The flight is supposed to come around 6. 

I wrap a towel around my hips before walking back to my room opening my closet. I looked around before spotting an oversized black turtleneck. I grab it off the hanger with a pair of black ripped mom jeans. Looking through my drawer I took a white belt and leather gloves. I grabbed a few other things and tried my best to look somewhat presentable. I ran a comb through my thin hair parting it down the middle. I stared at myself in my mirror. I didn’t look that bad but the dramatic eye bags plaguing my face made me look seconds away from death.

I sighed running a hand through my slightly damp hair. Before giving myself one last disappointed Look I left the bathroom heading to my front door. I let out one last sigh before grabbing my keys and slipping on my shoes. I grabbed the doorknob hesitantly and quickly left for my car.

Starting up the engine I plug my phone into the aux playing whatever was on my playlist. Soon enough the airport came into vision, Slowly I got through the long line of cars and found a parking spot near the front. I looked at my phone and saw the time was 5:56. I speed walk up to the entrance and text Sapnap and George to see what terminal they would be in. George ended up having to take an overlay to Texas so they just met up and got on the same flight. I fiddled around with my phone case anxiously waiting for one of them to respond.

After what felt like forever I felt my phone vibrate. My eyes darted down to the notification seeing they were in D-2. Picking up my pace I start heading over to the bag claim in their terminal. My eyes darted around the place desperately trying to find a distraction. Once I came back to reality I found myself already at my destination.  
Pushing my way through the crowd of people I find myself leaning against the back wall picking at my nails. My anxiety was all over the place. What if they thought I was disgusting, What if they hated me, What if they did this just to hurt me. I rub my temple furrowing my brows. I look back towards the door that the 2 would be coming from. I start to see groups of people file through. My head perks up desperately trying to find them.

Eventually, I saw A tired looking George and a giddy sapnap. I decided to wait for them to get their bags before walking over to them. I mentally prepare myself taking deep breaths desperately trying to subside the pit forming in my stomach. I finally compose myself and start making my way over to the pair. They were looking in the opposite direction as I was so I decided that I might as well just scare them. I quietly pace over to behind them before throwing my arms over both of their shoulders sticking my head between their own. 

I yell a quick hello startling the both of them. They seem to take a minute to realize I'm not some random skinny kid trying to make friends. 

“OH! DREAM!” George nearly yells leaving me wheezing. I manage to compose myself before letting out a small “Tadaa” with jazz hands for dramatic effect. Sapnap just punches me on the shoulder with a small chuckle. George is just staring at me in shock. “Uh- So..” I stutter instantly, getting anxious again. 

“You look a lot different than I thought you would.” George mumbles. I giggle in response “ What am I too hot for you to handle~.” I say sarcastically earning another punch in the arm yet from George. We all just chat for a few minutes until I hear my phone ringing from my pocket. I grab it seeing that Karl was calling me. I quickly pick up trying to not let it ring out.

“Hello?” I manage to say before hearing him yell from the other end.  
“I'M HERE IDIOT WHERE ARE YOU”. I bat my eyes before regaining my composure.

“Okay okay, What terminal are you in”. I sigh rubbing my temple.

“UHH A-3” 

I hum before hanging up on him telling the other two that we need to go over to get him. They both give short responses and start following me over to where Karl is. It was a short and silent walk over. They both seemed tired so I didn't bother them too much. 

Once we got to the terminal I could instantly find Karl just standing near the entrance.

“OY IDIOT” I yell out waving my arms, making myself visible. He looks up quickly grabbing his bag and walking over. Sapnap seems particularly excited to see him.

We all chat for a little slowly making our way to my car. Karl and Sapnap seemed awfully friendly with each other. I shrugged it off unlocking my car opening the trunk. There wasn't much room for the 3 bags but it will do. I motion for one of them to pass me their bag still looking towards the trunk.

Eventually, everything is packed up and I slam down the trunk roof. I let out a sigh before turning around facing these three who had been goofing around. 

“Alright get in,”. George got into the passenger leaving Sap and Karl for the back, I let out a sigh before making my way to the driver’s side. I open the door to see the three already fussing to each other. I let out a small chuckle before climbing in and starting my car.

The drive isn't all too long but it felt like forever. My anxiety was swirling with ‘What-ifs’. I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel slowly drowning out the babbling surrounding me with my thoughts. Eventually, I snapped back into reality to George staring at me concerned. I gave him a reassuring smile and looked back at the road.

I spot my house along the road as anxiety overtakes my body. I try my best to stay composed seeing that I already had George concerned about me. I park along the street and open my door. I take in a deep breath and plaster the happy mask back onto my face. I stride over to the trunk grabbing out bags handing them to whoever they belonged to. 

Once everyone had their things I slammed the trunk roof walking up to my door. My hands were nearly shaking at this point. I unlocked the door and opened it with a little hesitation. The three shuffled in behind me and placed their bags right by the entrance. I closed the door leaning on it with a sigh. 

“Well where is everyone sleeping, I have a guest room that can fit 2 people and the other can stay on the couch or with me,”. I explain waiting for responses. Sap instantly chimes in saying he takes the guest bed and Karl quickly follows. I raise an eyebrow noticing how clingy they are to each other. 

George responds by saying he doesn't care where he sleeps. I stand back up walking over to where my stairs are motioning for the 3 to follow. Everyone seems tired including me so It's best to just hang out later in the day. I opened the guest room making sure it was still perfect before letting Sap and Karl in. 

They both collapse onto the bed without a word. I chuckle in response, closing the door behind me. I look to George who looks seconds away from passing out. I'm guessing that means he hadn't managed to sleep on the flight.   
I practically drag George over to my room showing him, He hummed in agreement before instantly taking my bed. I let out a small smile before walking over to my window. I had left the pack of smokes laying out in the open. My eyes widen as I quickly hide them. George seems to have passed out. I let out a sigh of relief before leaving my room. I slide down sitting on the floor right outside my room. Bringing my knees to my chest I lay my head down with a sigh.

That went better than I expected. My mind is still racing as I somehow fall into a very uncomfortable sleep.


	4. Chapter 3 - Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh Trauma flashbacks boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a sudden boost of motivation so Ended up finishing this chapter early :)

I woke up quite quickly after that, I mean my neck was already sore. I let out a sigh before standing up steadying myself against my door. I stood waiting for my eyesight and hearing to come back to me. It only reminded me of the fact I haven't eaten anything in the past two days.

I shrugged the thought off, walking over to my balcony. The sun was still low in the sky, I was guessing it was nearing 8’o’clock. I sat down on the stool I had left out and never brought back in. It was always nice to be out early, The air smelled fresh. Looking off into the distance I spotted some storm clouds bubbling. It was nearing hurricane season to be fair.

I let out a huff leaning my head back, The 3 would probably be asleep for a while. I stood up once again steadying myself waiting for my senses to come back. Once I could see I walked down to my kitchen grabbing a glass. I admired it seeing half of the dishes I haven't seen in at least a month.

Filling the glass with cold water I quickly chugged it down. I hadn't realized how dehydrated I was. I chugged down another 2 glasses before I felt like I would vomit. I left the glass in my sink walking over to my couch. I hadn't been down here often, I forgot how much time had passed since I sat down and watched TV.

I spotted my headphones sitting on the coffee table. I smiled before grabbing them, quickly plugging them into my phone. Opening Spotify I looked through my playlists before picking whatever one seemed appealing. I turned my phone off leaning my head back letting the music ring through my head.

-

I sat there for a while until I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned my head slightly taking out a headphone. Both Sap and Karl are just standing awkwardly in the middle of the open space. 

“Oh! Good morn- er, I guess afternoon?” I mumbled scratching my neck. 

“Im hungry.” Sap groans staring directly at me. I chuckle in response standing up guiding them over to the kitchen.

“What would you two like?” I hummed looking in my fridge. I don’t really have much to eat seeing I rarely eat myself. I scan the contents of the fridge coming to the conclusion I really need to go grocery shopping.

“Do you have cereal?” Karl asks bluntly. I turn towards the two figures to see both of them staring at me. I instantly felt self-conscious but brushed it off walking over to my cabinet that I kept the various half-empty boxes of cereal. 

Grabbing the first box I saw, I set it down on the counter beside me closing the cabinet. I hum white walking over to grab the bowls and spoons setting them down beside the cereal. Going back to my fridge I grabbed the almond milk I had bought and put it with the other stuff.   
“Alright go for it, I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” I waved before claiming my spot back on the grey foam. It was a really nice couch, It was made of memory foam so it made sense. Putting my headphones back on I continued listening to music going off into my own reality.

-

My parents had been yelling for a while now, This happened quite commonly. I never paid to much interest in what they were on about, Eventually, I just learned how to escape reality and tune the world out. Sitting crisscrossed on my bed wrapping a blanket around my shoulds I peered out into the sky. The sun had just begun to set, You could hear cars drive by as they headed back home from work. It was basically a routine now. Wake up, put clothes on, Walk to school, Do school, Walk home, And sit in my room until It was safe enough for me to go down and grab something to eat. 

This is where my eating habits stemmed from. I had never eaten a lot in the first place so I always was smaller than the other kids. My parents never cared enough to notice, I would always hear them yelling about money when I was little. From that day on I pledged to eat as little as possible so they didn’t have to buy a lot of food.

It slowly progressed into a fear of eating, I would avoid it remembering that I can’t waste money. I never thought of myself as important. No one seemed to either, My parents blamed me for everything ever since I could process my own thoughts. I would always envy the other kids who had their parents come to pick them up from school and give them a hug asking about how their day went.

By the age of 13, I had come accustomed to leaving the house through my window until ungodly hours smoking with my group of friends. I owe those 4 a lot, They’re the reason im still alive to this day. We would always meet up at this one park just down the street from my house. One guy was assigned to bring a pack of Cigs every night, I had Wednesdays. It was quite easy to slip into my dad’s room and just steal one of his various packs. 

I haven’t been able to make many friends seeing I look like a walking corpse. In Jr. high, I had been bullied for how small I was. Well, it’s not like I was short, I was just thin and fragile. They took advantage of my trauma tormenting me further nailing the thought of I have to be as invisible as possible. I came home with cuts and bruises every day, No one ever seemed to bat an eye. 

I remember my first ever boyfriend. We were 16 and both experimenting with our sexuality. Seeing that the two of us had been good friends for a while we decided dating would be a good idea. I really wish we hadn’t tho, We ended up having a massive argument one night and he just got up and left. That night was the first of my many suicide attempts. I felt so horrible seeing him cry, I couldn’t handle the pain. 

He moved away shortly after, I had never texted him, Never tried to contact him. I still to this day feel like shit, I’ve contemplated sending him a text a few times but I couldn’t bring myself to.

-

“Dream? Dream you good”. I blinked myself back to reality, I hadn’t properly tuned everything out in years. My eyes focused on the figure standing in front of me. They’re shape morphed and formed into the same very figure I saw the night Techno left. My eyes shot open to find a concerned George staring at me. I blinked a few times before letting out a sigh.

“Im sorry, Just- Uhm- Trauma stuff I guess.” I cupped my face into my hand trying to bring my full consciousness back. I felt the couch dip next to me before a soft voice rang into my ear.  
“You wanna talk about it.” George hummed looking at me with a soft expression. It was the same exact thing Techno had said the day we met, I was out smoking and he came up to me. We started chatting and I ended up letting a bit too much information out. And he said the exact same thing.

Tears starting to form slowing spilling out, A small sob escaped my mouth before I brought my knees to my chest burying my face into my jeans. Im so weak, I couldn’t even keep up my act for a few hours. George probably thinks im weird, He’s going to leave you exactly how Techno left.

A choked sob echoed through my head when I felt something wrap around me. I heard a soft humming coming from George. He was humming a song, It felt all so familiar yet I couldn’t put my finger on it. 

I wrap my arms around George weakly before burying my head into his shoulder. He continued to hum, I could feel his breath gently glide across my neck. My ears started to ring as my eyes went fuzzy. My whole body felt tingly, I pushed the feelings away. I tried to slow down my breathing. 1,2,3,4 In… 1,2,3,4 out… I repeated the sequence until I managed to calm down.

I pulled away from the embrace before sitting back down putting my head back into my knees. 

“Im sorry you had to see that, Just a really bad day for flashbacks I guess.” I chuckled at the end which more of came out as a covered up sob. 

“It’s alright, Im glad I could help” He hummed sitting back down beside me. 

We sat in comfortable silence before I heard my front door open. My head jerked up to see Karl and Sap bringing in bags of food. I tilted my head before Sap perked up. “We noticed you were low on food so we just ran down to the store and picked up some stuff”. They both stood with a cheeky smile on their face. 

“Awh thank you guys.”. I stood up to go help them before I remembered, Right I have low iron. I instantly started to feel dizzy.

“One second”. I rubbed my temple letting out a groan letting my vision come back. “Heh, Sorry about that Low iron”. I chuckled before walking out to the car with Sap and Karl grabbing bags and lugging them back into the kitchen.

-

We finished putting all the food away, I let out a sigh of relief before leaning onto my cabinet. I peered at the time and read ‘14:31’ It was still early afternoon. I hadn’t prepared anything to do seeing they told me so last minute.

I walked over sitting back down on the couch. George had gone over to the kitchen, I could hear the distant voices and laughs of the three. They all seemed so happy Like there was no care in the world. I wonder how that felt, I really do.

-  
-


	5. Chapter 4 - Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trauma flashbacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note. This is not going to be a Dreamnoblade fic, Im just adding in the backstory. :)

Eventually, the three had come over to sit on the couch with me. They were going on about whatever random shit came to mind. My mind was still plagued by the thought of Techno. I had never been able to get over it, Every time I try the flashbacks just get even worse.   
The voices of the guys slowly faded as a high pitched ringing filled my empty mind. I blinked out of it not wanting to have a full-blown trauma flashback in the middle of the living room.

“I'm gonna go take a nap, I never got to sleep. Uh, don’t fuck up the house.” I chuckled making my way up to the room I had been living in for the past month. I close the door and lock it behind me before collapsing onto my mattress.

My ears slowly started fogging up and being filled with ringing. My eyes closed as I let sleep overtake me.

-

Dreamnoblade type moment. (Dream/flashback)

I woke up feeling wrapped in a warm embrace. I looked around to see a room I dread to even remember. The walls were white with many gold decor scattered across the walls. A small crown was set on a shelf. My eyes flickered around the room, I saw a tuft of light pink hair come into my view. I looked over to see a sleeping techno holding me into his chest. 

I smiled, melting into the embrace. No matter how much I hated this memory I could never hate the feeling of being wrapped in someone's arms. I felt the figure move into a sitting position, I buried my head into my arms hiding my smile. It felt so real, It felt just like it did all those years ago. 

I heard his soft chuckle ring throughout my head bouncing off the prison walls. I felt myself get brought up and put down on his lap. I nuzzled my head into the crevice of his neck. I closed my eyes falling into the touch. Once I opened them I was left in the same empty field. All the torn-up papers were there, The birds that flew past me were there.   
I stood in shock, I knew it would happen but I still felt so betrayed every time. My dad popped into view, He walked over to me with an empty bottle in his hand. Suddenly I was in my childhood bed, My dad towering over me. It all happened so slow, He smashed the bottle straight onto my head.

I shrivelled onto myself, The scene of the blood spilling out of my head as I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. Everything was so blurry, My heart was racing and my ears were ringing, It was all so loud yet so quiet. The nurse morphed into the same figure as my dad, Bashing the bottle into my face in an infinite loop.

I closed my eyes and found myself back in my middle school, The same spot where I was beaten up until I was bleeding. I saw myself walk to the locker I had and then be smashed into the surface by a faceless male. He never had a face, No matter how much I thought about it his face is never shown. I stand there frozen watching myself get bruised and cut up. I could never do anything, All I could do was stand and watch.

The dark crimson puddled under my head, My wrists were cut up as long as my ankles. I was so close to losing myself, Yet I didn't. I blinked and was brought to my childhood bathroom floor. Watching as I took the blade to my wrist slicing it up. Cut after cut, The blood rushed down my arm. I was sobbing yet I couldn't hear anything. I couldn’t make any noise. I couldn’t move all I could do was watch.

The next was when I was kicked out, My dad pushed me down the porch steps straight onto the pathway, My back was ripped up and I was covered in blood and mud. Tears flowed down my face as I stood outside the house I once called home.

I ran as fast as I could, I didn’t know where but I ran until I couldn’t. My eyes closed as I was back in Technos arms. He was running his hand through my hair, My eyes teared up as I put my head on his shoulder. I shouldn’t have left, I should have stayed with him and explained everything. Im such a fucking idiot.

-

I woke up curled into a ball huddled in my blankets. I frantically looked up to make sure I was in my room, And to my relief I was. I let out a sigh before sitting up. I looked out the window, It looked like the sun was nearly set. I stood up making my way over to the doorway. Unlocking the door I stick my head out into the hallway. 

An unfamiliar scent washes through my nose. I make my way down the hallway peeking my head down to see George making something in the kitchen. I go down the stairs when I spot Sap and Karl on the couch watching a movie. I make my way over to the kitchen, It smells like some sort of soup broth.

I lean over Georges’s shoulder making him jump at the sudden movement. “Oh, sorry,” I mutter backing up a bit to my island sitting on top of it. I watched as George went back to what he was doing before. 

Then the ringing started again, My vision went blurry as the scene of Techno leaving played on repeat. Tearing up the papers that I had given to him on our 1 year. Just gone, All the memories were forgotten. 

I snapped back to reality to George leaving the kitchen. I blinked adjusting to the light. I hopped off the counter going to retrieve my phone. I turned it on looking at the pink background I had yet to change. I made my way to the washroom closing the door behind me. I pulled up my contacts scrolling until I found it.

Techno <3

I held my breath as I clicked on his contact opening our messages. The last message he ever sent me ‘Meet me at the park’. I looked at my phone already feeling my eyes tear up. I start to type.

‘Hey, Techno it’s Dream. I know you probably don’t want to hear from me seeing I just kinda left and never talked to you. We never ended up resolving the problem. Just want to hope you’re doing well, Miss ya a ton. - Dream’

My thumb hovers over the send button as a tear drops down onto my hand. I press send before setting my phone down cradling myself. I let the tears come, My ears refuse to work. It's like watching a film on silent. 

I hear quiet footsteps approach the door. I cover my mouth with my hand covering up any faint noises.

I heard George's soft voice through the uncontrollable noise that flutters my head constantly. “Dream? Are you okay”, He lightly taps his knuckles on the door. I don't respond, Well more of I can't respond. I hear the door open realizing I never locked it. George closes the door behind him crouching down to my level. I don't dare lookup.

I feel his arms wrap around my torso once again, I fall into the embrace wrapping my arms around him. I missed this feeling, The feeling of being loved.


	6. Chapter 5 - Stay in touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He talked to techno awooga

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just clarifying this isn't turning into a Dreamnoblade fic. It's for the plot.

I tightened my grip around Georges’s torso, I didn't want to be abandoned again. Everything around me felt like it was crumbling down. It all felt like a movie, Like one of those cliche ones that your parents always cried at. 

I don't even know how long I stayed there, My mind was racing and I felt so tired. I felt myself start to doze off, I felt paralyzed. My mind was screaming at me to move from the embrace but I couldn't. I just let myself fall into the dream world.

-

“Promise me one thing Dream, No matter what happens I’ll always be here for you.” Techno smiled holding out his pinkie. I let out a chuckle “Of course you idiot” Interlocking our fingers. I looked off into the sunset, the colours faded into each other seamlessly.

Leaning my head on the other's shoulder I smiled. Everything was so perfect, It felt as if nothing could go wrong in the world. Just two idiotic 15-year-olds against the world. 

Next thing I knew it the world started to morph into the way too familiar field. The moon overtook the setting sun, Yet a new figure stood in front of me. George, He looked angry. His soft expression morphed into one of disgust.

He turned around leaving just the way the pink-haired male did. Walking off leaving me with my thoughts, I let out a choked sob feeling my body go weak. This couldn't be happening, Reality was blurring with the dream world.

-

My eyes shot open sitting up abruptly. I was in my bed, I set my head in my head as my eyes teared up. “Shit” I muttered. What if he just left as Techno did. I let out a sigh rubbing my eyes looking around my room. My eyes lit up when I saw my phone left on the pillow beside me. 

I grabbed the device unlocking it. I tapped on the messaging app and my face lit up, He replied. 

‘Hey Dream, It's been a while hasn't it. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for leaving you all those years ago, 3 years wasn't it? It’s not your fault whatsoever. How's everything been going?’

I let out a chuckle letting my head fall. How would I even be able to reply to that? Can’t just say ‘Oh it's been utter shit, How about you’. I heard a light knock on my door. My head shot up as I quickly shut off my phone.

“Come in” I stared at the door, Sapnap poked his head through before letting himself into the room. He leaned against the door closing it behind him. “You feel any better, George said you weren't doing so well.” He ran a hand through his hair looking at me for an answer.

“Uh, Yeah I guess. Just a Trauma day” I replied shrugging my shoulders. I didn’t want to let out the fact this is a daily struggle.

“Alright well, Dinners ready come down and eat.” He left closing the door behind him. I threw the blanket off of me kicking my legs off the bed. I hadn’t had someone cook for me since I got kicked out of my childhood home. Standing up I walked to my door opening it and heading downstairs.

I see the three sitting on the couch, I hesitate but continue heading down the stairs. Karl was the first one to notice me. “Yooo Dream” He smiled at me, I chuckled in response, waving quickly before making my way to the kitchen.

I looked at the soup, I forgot what it felt like to be full. It was such a rare occurrence nowadays for me. Grabbing the bowl I made my way over to the couch, I sat down beside George putting the bowl on the small table beside me. I jumped into the conversation to not worry the others.

Sapnap and Karl both looked exhausted, I mean they both had been up and around the place buying groceries. I had completely forgotten about the untouched bowl of soup left beside me. I seem to always get distracted when I make an effort to eat. I can't tell if it's my subconscious telling me I don't deserve food or a coincidence. The former is seeming a lot more likely as the days go by.

Both Karl and Sapnap excuse themselves heading off to the shared room. I leaned my head back against the top of the couch with a sigh. I can feel George's glance fall on me, I’ve learned how to know when someones looking at you without seeing it. I guess it was for my safety as a kid, Haven't been able to drop it since.

I hear a soft hum from beside me, I let myself sink into the silence. “Your not gonna eat?” I hear the boy question spotting the bowl set beside me. “Uh, No I will just, I’m not hungry right now.” I straighten my posture looking at George with a reassuring smile.

I felt horrible lying to him, But I’ve let too much information out today. I couldn’t let myself shove another thing for the man to worry about. We sat in comfortable silence, The air seemed heavy.

“Dream, I just wanna say whatever happens you can always come to me. I won’t leave you no matter what” My body froze, Everything was the same. The way he said things, The way he acted. I took a shaky breath before nodding relaxing my shoulders.

“Well, I'm getting tired. Jetlag Y’know? I’ll take the cough” He smiled, I stood up letting him get situated. Walking over to the stairs I flipped the light switch off before leaving with a soft goodnight.  
-

I closed the door behind me making as little noise as possible. With a huff, I collapsed onto my bed. The events of the past day rushed through my head, Evaluating each aspect of the past hours.

Soon I remembered the fact I had left Techno on reading. Jumping up I scrambled to find my phone. I quickly opened our DM and started writing up a reply.

-

“I mean, Lifes been life. Kinda shit, Glad you responded though How's it been on your end?.”

I hesitated my thumb over the send button before pressing it, staring at the dm. I don't really know why I was so terrified. I nibbled at my lip fidgeting waiting for Delivered to turn to Read. I had never been this anxious about talking to others before, Wonder what's different this time.

The typing bubble popped up, A smile flew to my face.

“Well, it's been alright, Been struggling with my job a bit. We should go out for coffee and catch up sometime.”

I typed my reply quickly fidgeting with my nails.

“Yeah sure, When are you available?” 

I was ecstatic, I had been waiting for a time to reconnect with Techno. Sometimes I honestly thought it would never happen. Then now he's the one suggesting we catch up. The smile stretches across my face even wider than before.

“I'm available whenever, How about you?”

I hummed to myself, I guess things may be turning around. I thought about it for a second before concluding I didn't have any higher priorities 

“Same here, What about Friday?”

“That's good”

I let out a sigh, The smile was plastered onto my face. 

“Alright well, I’ll stay in touch :)”

Stay in touch, The phrase alone made me smile. I laid my head back holding my phone to my chest. The empty silence echoed throughout my room. My eyelids fell heavy, The smile on my face slowly fell into a relaxed expression as I fell into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
